If not the genetics, it is the nurturing that plays a crucial part in how those children shape up. If any parent has depression, schizophrenia or any other mental health ailment, their kids are generally at a higher risk of developing such issues. “If we see a teenage girl having emotionally unstable borderline traits and very explosive outbursts, it usually has something to do with the father figure in early childhood,” says Sharma.įamily history also plays a significant role in a person’s mental health development. Traits associated to Borderline Personality Disorder or emotionally unstable personality traits are also, in many cases, caused by a negative relationship with the father. Children who have this syndrome develop positive feelings toward their abusive fathers, which is a very difficult mental state to be in.” When a person who is supposed to play a protective role becomes the abuser, these children, especially teens, can develop Stockholm syndrome. This makes them overlook or ignore the red flags.ĭr Ruchi Sharma, Consultant Psychologist, HCMCT Manipal Hospital, Dwarka, says: “When a father is abusive, there is no secure base for the child. That’s why many children of abuse grow up and choose abusive partners unconsciously, because in those abusers they find behaviour patterns so similar to their fathers, and so well-known to them, that it is almost comforting at first. And when the child does not get that affection from him, he or she may look for it in a romantic relationship even if it is an unhealthy one. Paradoxically, the more abusive a father is, the more a child tends to crave for his love.
Such kids are afraid of confrontations and tend to give in far more easily even if it is bad for them or they become abusers themselves, explains the doctor. If a child grows up in an abusive home, he or she is often very embarrassed by it. However, if children grow up in a home where the father is an abuser or is emotionally unavailable, they can pick up negative behaviour traits. Their social connections are better, they view the world more positively,” says Shah. They are not afraid of conflict, and are more independent.
They have less trust issues while exploring new relationships. “When children have a positive relationship with their fathers, it is generally seen that they have better attachment patterns and are able to form secure attachments in other relationships too. Jenisha Shah, Senior Psychologist at Mpower - The Centre, Mumbai, says although personality traits are an amalgamation of both parents, children’s relationship with their fathers has a stronger impact on some of their skills and personality traits.
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